[ it's true he had been worried briefly about his weight but. if it managed vash, he'd be fine too. but it's not his primary concern. dolph deftly climbs up to the loft after vash, keeping close behind. ]
I didn't ask that.
What I wanted to ask if you were okay. You've been gone a while.
[ dolph finds a spot next to him. long ago, they would sit like this. back when vash was spinning out in loneliness, his friends gone. dolph would just sit there and listen. it was like sitting next to the moon. always within reach, but when you do reach out, you'd just end up brushing against moonlight — nothing but light. nothing in your grasp.
[ These days, Vash would lean in, bump his shoulder against Dolph's own. Or maybe he'd reach out and tangle their fingers together or just indulge in the warmth of someone else. Right now though he hesitates, keeping his hands in his lap.
[ When Dolph manages to just know things like that, it always catches Vash by surprise. His eyes widen just a little bit, then he looks away. His stomach turns a little. ]
[ He hesitates, clearly uncomfortable by the way he tries to shrink in on himslef. ]
We... got stuck in the labyrinth together a few months back. The door we went through was his Eden. Tesla was there. [ He exhales a breath that comes out more like a laugh. ]
But there's still room to jump. We don't have to trap ourselves too.
[ dolph squeezes his hand. vash was trapping himself in the situation that occurred. quite frankly, he doesn't believe for a moment vash killed knives but to confront that would be difficult. better to see that this is not the end. ]
[ To be called a killer by his own flesh and blood; it's not something he's managed to say to knives so explicitly. He tries to make himself smaller, but doesn't let go of Dolph's hand. ]
He doesn't want to be here. Maybe it's time I stopped trying.
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I didn't ask that.
What I wanted to ask if you were okay. You've been gone a while.
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I've had some stuff to think about.
[ It's not a lie. Vash knows better than to try that with Dolph, and at this point, it isnt something he wants to do either. ]
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but these are old, whimsical thoughts. ]
What about?
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He rolls a shoulder in a shrug. ]
It's complicated.
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[ dolph reaches out to clasp vash's hand. ]
You said you'd try. You promised me that.
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...I know. [ He looks over at Dolph, his expression strained. ]
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What did he say?
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I don't know how you do that.
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Will you tell me?
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I really messed up, Dolph.
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We... got stuck in the labyrinth together a few months back. The door we went through was his Eden. Tesla was there. [ He exhales a breath that comes out more like a laugh. ]
It was really beautiful, Nai was happy.
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he's been in enough of those to know. ]
What happened?
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So I...gave up. I let him win, and we stayed.
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But that wasn't the end of it.
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No, it was... fine. But you know nothing's real. We both know death's not permanent.
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But he probably had his own take on that.
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[ He pulls his hand away from Dolph here, wrapping his arms around his knees as he draws them up to rest his chin there. ]
...I've killed him twice. I'm his killer.
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. . . When you came face to face with Alex. I had already killed him before.
And yet you stopped me. Do you remember why?
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I remember that. It was because you didn't have to. You could still choose not to.
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But there's still room to jump. We don't have to trap ourselves too.
[ dolph squeezes his hand. vash was trapping himself in the situation that occurred. quite frankly, he doesn't believe for a moment vash killed knives but to confront that would be difficult. better to see that this is not the end. ]
He's here. He's not gone. You still have hope.
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Maybe I don't deserve my brother.
[ To be called a killer by his own flesh and blood; it's not something he's managed to say to knives so explicitly. He tries to make himself smaller, but doesn't let go of Dolph's hand. ]
He doesn't want to be here. Maybe it's time I stopped trying.
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You're not the one keeping him here. You didn't even bring him here. You know how this place works.
And anyway, it's not about him. It's about you. Is what he said really gonna stop you? You really wanna let go?
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I don't understand him. I've tried, Dolph. I don't know what else I can do. It feels like we'll never see eye to eye. On anything.
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He's poisoned by his own anger and his own resentment. Maybe he should learn to save himself for once.
And punishing yourself isn't helping him either. It's just more poison to go around.
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